...i've just come to read the meter
ah...so it's been a fairly normal day. normal if you include the kid that peed on my office floor and the 11 year old that asked me 'how do you know when it's the right time to have sex?'...and lest we forget the laborious hours upon hours spent 'mentoring' the 'graduate' student intern that is under my direct supervision this year. he just doesn't quite get it.
so, you guessed it...this entry is about sex. when the little girl asked me 'how do you know when it's the right time?', i asked her...'the right time for what?' (i'm thinking surely she doesn't mean sex)...but alas...she does. i immediately want to tell her that sex should come with an age limit...like alcohol and cigarettes....you should have to be at least 18 years old - preferrably older. i also want to tell her that you should not have sex unless you are emotionally stable...this of course, would rule out the whole entire world....because really, are any of us really emotionally stable? (insert angry girl commentary here)
of course, i refrained from exposing my true self to this child. instead, i gave her a typical, safe...social work-ish answer. i thought this would do, until i realized that she still had a blank look on her face and i didn't feel any better about what i had just told her. so, at this point...i decide to throw all social work skills out the window and just tell them (she came back with reinforcements) what i know from my experience as a female.
i told them that 12 year old boys only think about one thing. their main agenda is to find a girl that will have sex with them so that they can tell their friends. and they will do and say anything in order to make that happen. they're not necessarily out to hurt you on purpose...it's just how they're programmed. and it doesn't get any better when they are 13 or 16 or 22 for that matter. i told them that 12 year old boys do not know what love is and if they tell you that they love you, then they are liars. and no matter how much you may want them to love you, having sex with them won't make it true. i told them that there is a whole world outside of the halls of their school and once they get out there and discover it, they will be so glad they didn't fall for the stupid lines these guys are trying to feed them. i told them that there are good christian guys out there that will respect them and love them for who they are and will want to be with them because they said no instead of using them up because they said yes and leaving them alone to pick up the pieces and start over again. and these good guys...these are the ones they'll really want to be with...these are the guys they'll want to spend the rest of their lives with...these are the keepers. nobody wants the guy that doesn't care about anyone but sleeps with everyone who will let him just because she's there...that's gross. there is more to a relationship than just sex...there should be anyway; otherwise it won't last very long or be very happy. a relationship is an emotional attachment between 2 people...you have to spend time together and become friends before you can become emotionally attached. sex doesn't automatically make that attachment for you. if done out of order, it forms attachments in all the wrong ways and leaves you to figure out what to do about it. i told them they are the only ones that will be able to make the call about when it's the 'right' time for them...i just hope that they use good judgement and i hope that it's a long long long time from now...preferrably when they have a ring on their finger, ya know?
after i launched in to this lecture, i realized there was a great possibility they were totally tuning me out as the old nerdy woman that didn't have a clue...but when i was done one of them actually hugged me and said thanks for being so cool and telling us something that we can actually use. kind of makes me remember what prompted me to change my major that 3rd time.
how ironic. the chronically single girl giving advice on sex & relationships....wonder what's next?
so i had a really great post written...it took me well over an hour. guess what? i got ready to post it and the whole page froze. i got mad and kicked the desk...said a few ugly things to the screen. it didn't make my words magically reappear. so now...the crappy entry will have to do. me and my prehistoric earth computer.
so, you guessed it...this entry is about sex. when the little girl asked me 'how do you know when it's the right time?', i asked her...'the right time for what?' (i'm thinking surely she doesn't mean sex)...but alas...she does. i immediately want to tell her that sex should come with an age limit...like alcohol and cigarettes....you should have to be at least 18 years old - preferrably older. i also want to tell her that you should not have sex unless you are emotionally stable...this of course, would rule out the whole entire world....because really, are any of us really emotionally stable? (insert angry girl commentary here)
of course, i refrained from exposing my true self to this child. instead, i gave her a typical, safe...social work-ish answer. i thought this would do, until i realized that she still had a blank look on her face and i didn't feel any better about what i had just told her. so, at this point...i decide to throw all social work skills out the window and just tell them (she came back with reinforcements) what i know from my experience as a female.
i told them that 12 year old boys only think about one thing. their main agenda is to find a girl that will have sex with them so that they can tell their friends. and they will do and say anything in order to make that happen. they're not necessarily out to hurt you on purpose...it's just how they're programmed. and it doesn't get any better when they are 13 or 16 or 22 for that matter. i told them that 12 year old boys do not know what love is and if they tell you that they love you, then they are liars. and no matter how much you may want them to love you, having sex with them won't make it true. i told them that there is a whole world outside of the halls of their school and once they get out there and discover it, they will be so glad they didn't fall for the stupid lines these guys are trying to feed them. i told them that there are good christian guys out there that will respect them and love them for who they are and will want to be with them because they said no instead of using them up because they said yes and leaving them alone to pick up the pieces and start over again. and these good guys...these are the ones they'll really want to be with...these are the guys they'll want to spend the rest of their lives with...these are the keepers. nobody wants the guy that doesn't care about anyone but sleeps with everyone who will let him just because she's there...that's gross. there is more to a relationship than just sex...there should be anyway; otherwise it won't last very long or be very happy. a relationship is an emotional attachment between 2 people...you have to spend time together and become friends before you can become emotionally attached. sex doesn't automatically make that attachment for you. if done out of order, it forms attachments in all the wrong ways and leaves you to figure out what to do about it. i told them they are the only ones that will be able to make the call about when it's the 'right' time for them...i just hope that they use good judgement and i hope that it's a long long long time from now...preferrably when they have a ring on their finger, ya know?
after i launched in to this lecture, i realized there was a great possibility they were totally tuning me out as the old nerdy woman that didn't have a clue...but when i was done one of them actually hugged me and said thanks for being so cool and telling us something that we can actually use. kind of makes me remember what prompted me to change my major that 3rd time.
how ironic. the chronically single girl giving advice on sex & relationships....wonder what's next?
so i had a really great post written...it took me well over an hour. guess what? i got ready to post it and the whole page froze. i got mad and kicked the desk...said a few ugly things to the screen. it didn't make my words magically reappear. so now...the crappy entry will have to do. me and my prehistoric earth computer.
posted by agirlnamedbob. @ 8:23 PM
2 Comments:
At 10:42 PM,
CFchampion said…
thanks for the comment! :) i g2g!
At 1:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
Perfect. I love the email title, and the blog title. It's like a puzzle. A mind-word puzzle that you can only get if you're cool. And I'm cool. Good post. I like the new look, Bob. More fitting for you. Your job would drive me to suicide.
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