lately i'm alright...and lately i'm not scared...

so, it's been quite a while since i've written anything. this has been a crazy year. i can't believe that my sweet baby girl is already a year old. it really does seem like i just blinked and she went from baby to toddler. she is the sweetest, funniest, cuddliest, amazing little person i've ever known. matt and i are both blessed much more than we deserve. when i found out we were going to have her, i was scared to death. and i've spent most of the last year being scared. i finally figured out that it's not her i've been scared of this whole time.
...it's me. i'm scared i won't be a good mom. i'm scared i won't know what to do. i'm scared i can't take care of her like she needs me to. i'm scared i'll warp her for life. i just want to be the best wife and mother i can possibly be. and sometimes that takes real effort.
work today was crazy and exhausting. tomorrow is not going to be much easier. tonight, i realized just how much my work affects my family. i'm going to try to stop bringing things home with me. that's a very hard task when you're a social worker and it's your job to hear and handle other people's problems all day. i'm not really sure what i was wanting to say tonight. i think i've just missed writing and i wanted to be sure that i still knew how. i still know...i just wonder if i'll ever be semi-good at it.