no phone, no phone...i just want to be alone today.

there was a cordless phone laying face down on top of my neighbor's bushes this morning when i left. the professional carpet cleaners were there yesterday. sometimes i wonder what goes on over there...and then i'm quickly glad that i don't have to know.

...

and i constantly call. i know it's irritating, but i still do it. and i'm immediately sorry. and the fax machine rings. and i always get the voicemail. i don't leave a message. i try the house and get the machine. no message there, either. and the phone constantly tells me that i have text messages, but i can't send any back because i'm in the middle of the ghetto out in the country and my piece of crap phone is on analog. when it switches back to digital, it rings with a number that i don't know.


and i worry about little details out loud. and the more i worry, the more screwed up things become.

so, i'll stop now. no more out loud. no more noise.
shhh...listen.
you can barely hear me.