i don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack...

i am fascinated with old things. they don’t really have to be of any value. i’m not talking like ‘antiques roadshow’ stuff here. i just mean anything old. i always have been. i think it has something to do with my level of curiosity being a little higher than the average person’s. i will buy junk that i don’t need just because it’s old and looks cool. even if i don’t have a place to put it or i know i will never use it in a million years. or if i don’t buy it, i will have the overwhelming urge to really bad…just because it’s old and i really really THINK that i might possibly need it someday.

so, today some friends and i go to antique alley and look around in a few shops for a couple of hours. i could do that all the time. i’m certain there is a story behind everything i pick up. and i want to know what it is. everything there was a part of someone’s life at some point. what was that person like? were they nice? mean? beautiful? rich? sad? lonely? who were they? did they have lots of family and friends? were they ever in love?

every piece of clothing could tell a story. every record holds some memory. every plate, glass, blanket, gun, trinket, toy…they all meant something to somebody at some point. who wore that letter jacket? that soldier’s uniform? that party dress?

my mind was just racing all day with elaborate stories of love, heartache, family, happiness…life. the stories in my mind couldn’t keep up with what my eyes were seeing. i had so many questions about the things that were there…and no one with answers.

but even with all of the questions that these fascinating treasures presented to me today, only one still lingers with me. will the stuff i had in my life end up in some dusty old store one day for people like me to rummage through? i don’t want my life to be reduced to that. now, if someone wants all of my crap when i’m gone…whatever…they can have it. cause i mean, i know i have accumulated LOTS of random useless junk over the years…i think the ability to do that goes along with having my last name. but what i think our trip down someone else’s memory lane today has reminded me of the most is…i have to make my life count now because once i’m gone all that will be left is some ugly clothes and crappy cds. so, i’m going to make a conscious effort to do more. to be more. to be who i should be and do the things i should do and make things count. i’m going to try to stop being so selfish and focus on my reason for being here in the first place.