there is no pain, you are receding
on the way to work today I was having one of my sporadic talks with God. as i was apologizing for not visiting with Him more often, i was in awe of how amazingly beautiful this morning was.
after thanking Him for that, i got around to what was really on my mind. a conversation with a friend last night caused me to have some major questions. questions that i’ve always had, but have been afraid to ask because i thought i was the only one that saw it. but now i know i’m not.
what is wrong with us? why are we all so ‘mildly depressed?’ and it’s not just me and my group of friends, either. although we have more than our share of it. it’s our whole generation. with no logical explanation.
i mean, what makes us so restless? what is it that’s brewing just underneath the surface? what is that little thing that everyone knows is there but no one wants to talk about? what burden is so great that we think we can handle it all on our own…only to drive ourselves to the point of insanity or worse? what is this thing that’s hanging over our heads…slowly sucking the life out of us? why are we suffocating in our own bodies? drowning in ourselves? what is killing me & my friends?
and are we really so blind that we don’t see it?
what makes a person think that the only answer is driving their vehicle off the road into a light pole? or putting a .45 to their temple? or someone else’s? what makes jumping off the golden gate bridge seem logical? or what makes us think that there is comfort waiting at the bottom of a bottle of valium, xanax, vodka, or a mixture of the three?
maybe it’s not comfort we’re after…maybe it’s just the numbness we seek. i don’t know. i don’t have the answers. obviously if i did, i wouldn’t be asking these questions and sounding like the poor, pathetic loser of a person that i feel like sometimes. maybe the truth is, we all feel like failures because we will never live up to the expectations that the world has set for us and we don’t know how to deal with that. i just don’t know.
whatever it is, it’s killing us. and if we don’t do something about it soon, it just might win.
after thanking Him for that, i got around to what was really on my mind. a conversation with a friend last night caused me to have some major questions. questions that i’ve always had, but have been afraid to ask because i thought i was the only one that saw it. but now i know i’m not.
what is wrong with us? why are we all so ‘mildly depressed?’ and it’s not just me and my group of friends, either. although we have more than our share of it. it’s our whole generation. with no logical explanation.
i mean, what makes us so restless? what is it that’s brewing just underneath the surface? what is that little thing that everyone knows is there but no one wants to talk about? what burden is so great that we think we can handle it all on our own…only to drive ourselves to the point of insanity or worse? what is this thing that’s hanging over our heads…slowly sucking the life out of us? why are we suffocating in our own bodies? drowning in ourselves? what is killing me & my friends?
and are we really so blind that we don’t see it?
what makes a person think that the only answer is driving their vehicle off the road into a light pole? or putting a .45 to their temple? or someone else’s? what makes jumping off the golden gate bridge seem logical? or what makes us think that there is comfort waiting at the bottom of a bottle of valium, xanax, vodka, or a mixture of the three?
maybe it’s not comfort we’re after…maybe it’s just the numbness we seek. i don’t know. i don’t have the answers. obviously if i did, i wouldn’t be asking these questions and sounding like the poor, pathetic loser of a person that i feel like sometimes. maybe the truth is, we all feel like failures because we will never live up to the expectations that the world has set for us and we don’t know how to deal with that. i just don’t know.
whatever it is, it’s killing us. and if we don’t do something about it soon, it just might win.
posted by agirlnamedbob. @ 9:16 PM
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